I believe in miracles
I'm coming up on my 3 month mark since having left home. It has been a beautiful journey so far, and I know it will continue to be beautiful too. Though this is true, it has not been easy. Every single day is a good day, but some days are tougher than others.
Since having begun my mission, I have learned quite a lot about who God is. I have come to comprehend him in a way I have not been able to before. While in the MTC, I gradually grew to have an understanding that we are all his children and that he has an infinite amount of love for us. Being in the mission field, however, has helped me see that he really is my Father.
I love every minute of my mission. These past weeks have been unbelievably difficult. Relax, my testimony is stronger than ever-- it has always been since beginning this journey-- but for many days I have not been okay. And I have not really known why. I still do not know why haha. Do not worry, I can say I am genuinely good now.
Throughout the days that were rougher than most, I kept carrying on. I kept rolling out of bed at 6.29, I kept getting down on my knees day and night to pray, I kept eagerly approaching anyone in our line of vision on the streets, I kept sharing what I know is true, I kept studying, I kept believing a better day would come. I choose to keep believing because I knew it had to come, it just had to.
Well, the thing about God is that he promises to bless every single person's life when they are obedient and full of faith... but on His timing. No one else's. The variation of "good days" had become so scattered that it was tempting to believe He was not with me, that He does not care. Giving in to that thought is dangerous for anyone, not just missionaries.
Day by day I began to see Wunders in my life. He helped me see that He really was with me, that He really cares about me. When people think of Wunders they think of something extraordinary, something that could only happen in biblical times-- like Moses parting the Red Sea. But if there is anything I have learned from God, it is that he gives us miracles every day.
By asking Him to help me see His hand in my life, God really has opened my eyes to the miracles he was sending my way. This past week was filled with dogs. Every subway train and bus we got on had a dog. "Coincidentally," the days we ran into dogs were days where I was having a tough day. Every time I saw a dog, the BRIGHTEST smile came across my face. This is just one of the many miracles I have recognized in my life.
I love looking back and being able to recognize, now, how God has always been in my life. I know He's here with me. I know He's with you too. I love my mission so much, even when it gets tough I love being out here in Germany. I love the thrill I get when it begins to pour with rain. I love the moments when Sister Dempsey and I bolt in a sprint after our bahn. I love laughing as we hear the beeping the bahn doors make as they close and as we watch our bahn leave us behind. I love not being able to speak proper English or German after a long day. I love getting back to our apartment after having walked everywhere in Hamburg only to have to climb up 5 flights of stairs. I love being here. Yes, it has been tough. However, there is no other place I would rather be.
Elder Brockback once said:
When we say, “Father, thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven,” we should be subject to the will and desires of our Heavenly Father, even as a little child is subject to the will of its earthly parents. To sincerely submit and agree with the Lord that his will be done shows respect, love, and oneness (Love of God, Bernard P. Brockbank, April 1971).
I know when we submit ourselves to the will of God, we only open the doors to an infinite amount of blessings that He has waiting for us. I know Heavenly Father is a God of miracles. I know He is a Father full of love. I know He has a plan for us. I know Christ is our savior and redeemer. He is our advocate and he makes it possible for us to not have to suffer from our sorrows, infirmities, and guilt. They have given me so much, and I am forever in debt.