30 Days

I found a German food stand in the Reading Terminal Market in Philly, SCORE!


I cannot believe how fast time is passing by. It feels like just yesterday I was opening my mission call. There are a lot of things running through my mind, and all of my thoughts are so scattered I don't even know where to begin. 

I have 30 days left before I enter the Missionary Training Center in Utah and I am in a happy yet utterly terrified panic mode. I keep repeating to myself 'Where did the time go?' and then I realize I need to stop admiring how fast time is passing by... and instead, I need to start acting. 

To Do
1. Finish studying the Book of Mormon, and finish highlighting the testaments of Christ and the word/doctrine/principles of God. 
2. Read Jesus the Christ, the front cover to the back cover
3. Study Chapter 3 in Preach my Gospel.
4. Learn how to pray in German, and start praying in German.
5. Read all of the New Testament so I can at least say I have read it once. 
6. Learn as much German: Vocabulary, verb tenses, history, culture, etc.
7. Get my Flu Shot.
8. Pack everything.
9. Say Caio, or rather Auf Wiedersehen, to my worldly life. 

Yeah. I know. I have set beyond high standards for myself. I honestly have no clue how this is all going to get done within these next 30 days, but it will. I know it will. Everything's fine, it'll all get done. This will happen. 

30 days. So many emotions. So many thoughts. In all honesty, when someone asks me how I feel about being sooooooo close to leaving I say I'm excited (AND I AM, don't get me wrong), but my initial thought is how terrified I feel. I don't know why that's the first thing that pops into my head, but it is. I'm scared about not picking up German quick enough, and it's nerve-wracking to picture myself in Germany not being able to understand what anyone is saying. I'm scared about leaving my mom, family, and friends behind. I know it's only a year and a half that I won't see them, but it's surprisingly easy to feel lonely-- and the idea of feeling completely alone again terrifies me immensely. I'm not ready to live have a 24/7 hour companion who goes everywhere I go except when I have to pee and shower. The concept of doing that churns my stomach. I'm terrified of things going southward and having to communicate but failing miserably. I think what I'm scared most about is overcoming all of what I just mentioned, and being a great sister missionary. 

All of these thoughts run in my head, and many more. I've noticed that after experiencing all that fear and anxiety... I'm overpowered with peace. It's like a reality tap saying, "Alicia, you're going to be fine." And so I'll proceed to ponder to myself about everything I've experienced, and I say to myself: You're ready. 

I'm excited to be entering the Missionary Training Center in 30 days. I look forward to diligent study, learning is the best thing a person can do in this life. I eagerly anticipate meeting the other Sisters and Elders who have been called to learn German like me. I dream about waking up in Germany, walking on the streets, eating all the fresh bread, and one day being able have a conversation in fluent German. A smile comes across my face when I think about meeting the people in Germany I'll be teaching. Peace and love fill my heart when I think about how my fears are a temporal feeling, whereas the work I'll be doing is eternal. 

These next 30 days are going to be crazy. There will be laughter, tears, and love. Things will be hectic and stressful and full of anxiety by the last week, I'm 98% sure of this. I'm excited for this roller coaster, and I couldn't be any more proud of the path I've chosen for myself. 


I ended up ordering a Bavarian sandwich, beef and pork sausage with mustard  coleslaw and potato bits (at least I'm pretty sure that's what that was). It was unbelievably good, let the countdown to German food begin too! 

P.S. I just found out this past week from my mission president that I will be preaching in Spanish too (: